虽然我很开心在今年我和我的另一半终于踏出了迈向未来的第一步，但2013 年对于我来说并不是一个很令人开心的年份。在这一年里有三个我认识的人相续的离开了这个世界。或许是人开始长大了就必须经历这一类型的事情，但这个数目已经超出了人可以接受的界限吧。

其中两个是我在砂拉越第一次遇到的人，她们人很好、健谈，但就因为一些事情而导致她们走向这条不归路。当时的我很错愕，无法想象那么开朗的人就这么的离开了我们。她们甚至无法参加我们的婚礼。当我想：“应该不会再有更坏的了吧” 的时候，在距离二零一四年倒数第四天，我收到了一个更令我吃惊的消息。我好朋友的女朋友竟然因病逝世了。她才二十七岁而已！我相信她自己也没想到竟然她的人生要在那天结束了。。。

今天去参加了她的丧礼，在出殡的时候她的家人、男朋友、读书时认识的朋友全都哭成泪人。虽然我认识她的时间不长，但是我一直都以为我们这几个朋友都可以在几年后各自带自己的伴，一起去游玩、旅行。我认识了她男朋友这么多年，这次是我第一次看到他那么伤心的流眼泪。我实在无法想像之前还来我父母档口和我父母说话的那一对恩爱的情侣，现在其中一个竟然只能安静的躺在棺木里，再也不会讲话。在她弟弟按下那一个按钮将他姐姐送去焚化炉时，我朋友还有她家人的哀嚎声让身边的人都能感受到他们的不舍、难过。我朋友说他们打算要明年要去注册，但想不到这个计划永远都不能实现了。。。

至今当我想到之前大伙儿一起出去游玩、烧烤、喝酒、谈天的画面，我还是会忍不住的落泪。我朋友当时说：“她很坏的，就这样留下我一个人。是不想让我看到她变老的样子而已吧。现在这两天还好，至少我还可以在她的棺木旁边陪她说话。出殡了之后我实在不知道日子要如何过。” 用“闻者伤心，听者流泪”这句话应该能够表现出当时的情景。

我不知道我朋友他要如何熬过这一段如此伤心的路。时间能够使人忘记当时的伤感，但我相信他需要很长的时间才可以做得到这件事。我知道她不会希望看到她心爱的家人和他那么伤心，但愿她能保佑我朋友和她的家人能够早日从悲伤中站起来。

很开心我有幸能够认识你。如果真的有来世，希望这些不幸不会再落到你的身上。你安息吧，一路好走。

Dear Future Yin,
At this moment, while you are writing this, you are very much in love with this guy, who is far from perfect but deep inside your heart, you knew that he is the perfect one for you.

Still remember the first time you met him? Yeah, he was never in your list of the ideal guy. Somehow, from friends to become best friends and now, he is your other half :) You always say that he is very kayu and a hopeless romantic but did you remember how much he has changed since you guys got together? Both of you have change to a better person. He learnt to become optimistic, less grumpy and gained a little bit of fashion sense. LOL! He knows that one thing that matters the most for you in a relationship is the feeling of secure. So, he always try to make you feel like you can totally rely on him about anything. He is spoiling you and turning you into a clingy girlfriend, which you really enjoy :)

Still remember how he become your sandbag when you are being tested physically and mentally in Spaoh? Yes, Spaoh.. The most terrible place you ever been to. But hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. You're a survivor and you know you can survive now even if they throw you in the middle of a jungle or desert. Hehe.. During that period of time, you are like a time bomb, which can explode anytime but that kayu guy risked his 'life', stayed beside this time bomb. And of course, he survived! :-P Such a strong man huh...

Still remember how he flew to your hometown, just to be by your side. when you lost one of the beautiful gems in your life? You told him it's not necessary to do so because he still got tonnes of work waiting for him. But he came because he knew that you are not as strong as you have shown to people around you. Year 2013 was very tough, very very tough.. You were being tested once again when you lost the second gem :( You lost all your hope & faith, your world turned grey but you don't know how to share it with anybody. You packed all your emotions (anger, sad, disappointment, despair, hopeless, grief) into a baggage and brings it everywhere. You started to distant yourself from him and your friends. But your silly piggy, being the optimistic one, patiently helped you to slowly unpack the baggage and told you. "It's ok not to be strong, it's ok to cry.." He has been there with you throughout all of these tests, no matter how many times you chased him away :)

The year 2013 witnessed both of you made a few important commitments. The first one will be the piggy crib. Hahaha! That's what you guys called it right? After searching high and low for almost half a year, you guys chose one which you guys think is the perfect one to start a piggy family, a place to raise piggy children and to grow old together. Oh! Did you get him the Husky he always ask for? How about your sausage dog? You must be having a hard time vacuuming the house, cleaning the doggies and taking them for a walk :-P

Few weeks ago, you found out that he need to undergo a knee surgery. Can you remember how you feel? Let me help you to recall. He expected a scolding from you for not taking care of himself. But instead, you didn't and you told him, "Baby, let's get married and let me take care of you for the rest of your life..." You're not saying this because you want a ticket to transfer out of Spaoh but because at that very moment, you knew for sure he is THE ONE you want to spend the rest of your life with and you don't want to waste anymore time to be separated.  He laughed it off and said. "No, I should be the one saying that to you. Don't you want a real proposal?" That's how he rejected your 'proposal' FYL. However, he made you the lucky girl who got proposed twice!! Hahaha!




What kind of flowers he bought for you this year? I remember he promised you that he will buy you flowers every year. How about your birthday cakes? I bet he learnt a lot of new recipes already and improved a lot :) How about you?  Still do the online searching for  home cook recipes? You said you want to keep his
heart through his big round tummy. HAHAHA!!

Yin, I hope that you will never forget the ups and downs of LDR you guys have faced to get to where you guys are today; the heartaches both of you felt whenever you guys have to separate, the endless tears and most importantly, how much you guys enjoy each other companions. He might annoy you sometimes but you know you will miss those annoying things when he is not around. Like this,

Not everyone is able to find someone who knew all your flaws and weaknesses but still accept you the way you are. You know deep inside your heart, you have found that someone. So, stop scolding him for being indecisive or coming back late and cause your tomyam to become dry or winning you over a stupid candy game! p/s Did they come out with the advance version of candy crush? :-P

I sincerely hope that you guys are as happy as both of us are now. Appreciate every moment k.. Cause life is too short :)


Love,
The Present Yin

很久没有跟一个人说话说到那么的无力了。 这世上就是有一些人是那么的自我中心，无论她说什么都是对的。 说什么她的是道理，根本就是歪理。 我相信我在我的朋友圈里已算是时间观念差的人，我从来没有想到有人比我更加恐怖。 迟到不在话下，最让我不能接受的是她竟然一点悔意都没有，而且还有大条道理的说她为什么会迟到。看来她所谓的出发/就快到/On the Way 等等的字眼的定义我实在是不敢苟同。

是否工作已经变成了我唯一可以和其他人沟通的东西呢？ 果然人会变， 月会圆， 我也已经变得我不知道我自己是谁了。。。。

The end of the world didn't happened and thus i think i should start to think of my own new year resolution since i am very good in procrastinating. =p

Here it goes:

1) Control my own emotion - very difficult for emo person lik me. 1st thing need to be learn not to show black face in my office >< Recently started to become emo again le, should i just put a whole bunch of lavender on my office table since they said lavender can help to reduce stress for a person haha XD

2) Pass my external exam - can't say that this is resolution coz i paid exam fee for this one alr so i dun have a choice also =,=lll hohoho

3) Ultimate Aim!!! On diet!!!! Can't really accept when i realized the fact that some of my clothes or pants become too small size for my big big tummy!!! Next year at least try to lose some weight and don't let my spare tyre come out when i sit down.... Y_Y

4) Be decisive when have to make a choice. I think i really got 选择恐惧症 becoz i always spend a lot of time to do some decision such as where to eat, what can i do during weekend, what i need to do 1st. This is not a good sign n hope that i can at least dun hesitate too long when making decision in future. *Finger-crossed

5) Buy a house??? erm, this is depends on my financial condition ba~~~

6) Try to do more research on my taiwan trip~~!!!!! Can't let what happened in Phuket to happen again!!!!

7)....................................... This one remain unknown 1st ba hahaha

It's been awhile from my last post, since today got half day leave with my pig leg at home & got nth to do then write some stuff here ba. Recently start to feel bored with my working life, although i still haven't fully understand all the mechanism and concept in my job scope, I've alr thinking of my holiday at December le. However, dreaming is not going to give me money and without money, I cannot go anywhere even during my holidays.

Sprained my right knee on last Friday (again!) and suddenly I think maybe I should balance my sport life such as a combination between swimming and badminton. Old lo~~~~ But I'm not regretting of getting these injuries when i play badminton. Although i still very cha sui at playing badminton and most likely will lose to you all in a match, so what? It is still my interest and if you all think that it is very embarrassed to play with me then you can go n play with somebody else, it's your choice!

Seem lik my langkawi trip was fly away le, thought of going there to buy a bottle of coffee liquor then when come back to malaysia can try to make a tiramisu @@. More people will have more conflicts for sure so I can't do anything on that too. Just feel sorry for my coffee liquor and my dark chocolate~ Y_Y

Hope that all the outstanding stuffs can be done in next few weeks and then i can really enjoy my holidays at Phuket there.... Bungee Jump!!!!! Wait for me ah~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

当人慢慢的长大的时候，快乐渐渐少了，而烦恼就慢慢的多了。。。。。

Dear Piggy,

Suprise, suprise!!! Say hello to the hacker~~!!! Muahahahahaha~~ :D

If I’m there right now, another 30 minutes, I’m gonna give you the warmest hug and stickiest kiss, then whisper in your ear… “Happy 2 years anniversary Baby…” =)))

2 years together but one year was spent without you by my side. I still remember how things were very rocky during our first few months of LDR. Lots of dramas, issues, roller coaster emotions; fighting and making up, fighting and making up and the cycle repeats. I forgot how many times I told you how tired I was with all those. But one thing about you that I really admire: your PATIENCE. You have been very supportive and tolerate with my childish demands A LOT. You never give up on me and you never give up on our relationship.

No matter how busy you are, you always find time to talk with me everyday. Whenever I’m sad, you cracked your lame jokes to cheer me up. You get angry whenever I eat too much potato chips :( You also get angry whenever I refuse to exercise :( You get angry when I have gastric. Isssshhhhh~ Why are you so grumpy one? Ooppsss~

To my boyfriend and my best friend,

I love you… I want to grow old with you. I want to hold hand your hands in every steps that you will be taking. I want to do lots and lots of stupid and disgusting things together. *whispering* it’s our secret o…Hehehe~

Thanks for being the one that can make me cry and making me laugh again after crying =)) Thanks for being with me when I needed you most. Thanks for never letting distance kills our relationship.

I don’t know how things will be for us in years to come but I promise you that I’ll never give up and will work hard for our future. Till we see each other again, I miss you heaps…Happy 2 years~ *Hugs and Kisses*

Love,

Piggy dear

刚刚去了朋友的喜酒，虽然是和不是很熟的朋友一起坐，而且不知道为什么心情有一些纳闷，但是我很感激上天，因为不论在什么时候， 它总是会让我觉得我是一个很幸运的人。

Am i being too naive? In reality, it will be very crucial to tell u that a naive person most probably cannot survive in this society due to many reasons, the way u treat ppl, the way u handle ur work, the way u reject ppl o the way u talk to others. Although i cannot understand tat feeling, i will try to continue live my life in the way i lik. If 1 day i changed my way of thinking, it means i will nt be able to recognize myself as well because i will nt b the same anymore.

seems lik after cny my mood is getting worse and worse, i dunno wat happen but recently my mood really drop to the bottom of the valley alr. Don't feel lik doing anything but at the same time dun feel lik doing nothing at home too. CHeer UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

今天在羽球比赛时趁还没有到我出场时忙里偷闲出去一下，在没有人的地方坐着，享受一下给自然风吹着身体的感觉。 望着蓝蓝的天和白白的云， 回想一下以前的我，到底现在的我改变了多少。但这一切都不再重要，因为那时的我只想享受一下一个人的平静。

2010年八月二十九号晚上，对其他人而言或许只是一个很平常的一个晚上，但对于我其中一个阿姨而言却是非常难过的一天。因为她的儿子，我的表弟，在医院里病逝了。我这个表弟是一个唐氏综合征患者，从他一出生那一刻起，他就注定跟其他人不一样。虽然如此，我的阿姨还是没有放弃他，依然是尽全力的照顾、教导他。我并不是时常会看到他，顶多是在新年时在我的外公家看到他一或两天，虽然他的样子并不算是活泼可爱，但是至少我所有的亲戚都尽量的陪他玩、逗他开心。前天我父母收到通知，他不行了，院方对我阿姨说如果有亲戚要见他最后一面，那么就叫他们赶紧过来。我妈妈跟我说他全身都插满了插管，双眼也被包扎了起来因为他的眼睛会流血。由于身体里的器官受细菌感染而无法好好操作，尿液不能被排出，导致身体也变得肿胀，重点是他只有五岁啊！实在是让人感慨世事难料。这对于其他人尤其是我的阿姨而言绝对是非常痛苦的，但对于我的表弟，这或许是一种解脱吧。虽然众所周知唐氏综合征患者比起正常人，他们的寿命是比较短的，只是没想到他只能活到五岁。我想在他的记忆里，最印象深刻就是他的父母吧。希望在他离去的那一刻，他还是可以感觉到他父母对他的爱。对于我未能在他离去前见他最后一面，我只能说这是一种遗憾。如果这世上真的有投胎，那但愿他可以投胎变成一个正常人。而我也希望他的母亲，我的阿姨能够坚强地连带他的份一起活下去。再见了，yeehan。愿你在另一个世界里能够开心，南无阿弥陀佛。

习惯是一个很奇怪的东西，这样东西我们不会在学校里学到，但是每一个人一定会有自己的习惯。 有些人起床后一定要喝一杯咖啡因为这是他的习惯，如果没有做就会一整天不舒服。可是习惯未必是好的东西，就像我在心情不好时，习惯会摆一副臭脸给人看，好听一点可以说是我不想假惺惺的做人，可是在现实世界里（尤其是工作的地方），这样的习惯等于在自挖坟墓。没有人会喜欢看另一个人的脸色做人，如果你想给人脸色看，只有一个方法，那就是做那些人的老板。如果你不是老板，很抱歉，请你在必要时将面具戴上否则你分分钟会饭碗不保。虽然已在这世界上活了二十四年，可是到现在我都还像一个小孩子般的不会控制自己的情绪、言行。但愿在接下来的日子里，我会学会慎行、慎言，让自己的思想成熟些。

这个世界是不停的在改变的，无论你多么不愿接受这个事实。举个例子吧，以前可能用五角钱可以吃到一碗面，现在五角钱应该只足够你给停车费一个小时吧。其实不只世界在改变，人也是一样。无论以前的你们用多么的亲密或好朋友，也有可能在未来的某一天你们会相见却不相识，虽然不是每一个人都会这样，但这个可能性还是存在的。或许有一天你们在街上看到我会不认识我了，我只想说在这一刻，我并没有改变到，我还是原本的我。

今天是七月八号，天气并不是很好，而我的心情也和这个天气差不多了。 真的在毕业以后，这个残酷的社会不停的在折磨我，在看着身边的朋友一个个地找到工作，而自己却完全没有下落，真的很想去撞墙。 有很多时候一个人做的决定往往会给其他的人所影响，虽然明知道自己完全不想去做这些事，就因为别人说应该去做，而改变自己的想法，毕竟通常我的决定都不是明智的。有些时候我真的不知道要去和谁说，我也不想这样子的。有一些人在面试了以后让人家拒绝了几十次都可以继续的尝试，我只能说是我太差了，第四次的失败已经让我感到疲倦，而我那卑微的信心也一步步的崩溃着，我承认我的意志并不强。接下来下一个礼拜一的面试，我不知道我是因为害怕它的难度还是我真的不想在银行里工作，而导致我很有冲动想要放他们飞机。可是我也知道十个人里至少会有十一个会跟我说， “要留一条后路给自己”，所以我想还是必须去的吧。现在我已经感到非常的茫然、无助，我不知道我还可以这样到什么时候。如果吃甜的东西可以让一个人开心，我想现在我要吃下的分量足以让我患上糖尿病了吧，哈哈。

终于从巴厘岛回来了，不知不觉中我已经完成了我在大学四年的生涯，而这个为期六天的毕业旅行也已经结束了，是时候应该要面对现实了。虽然我非常不喜欢离别的滋味，可是还是得接受。。。。我们全部人都必须开始新的生活，很快大家都会有新的圈子，新的朋友，相信很难才可以找到一个时间大家一起出去玩。可是就像我在facebook写的，有了离别时的不舍，才会有相聚时的喜悦，愿大家都可以有一个美好的未来。。。

I dunno for how long i din post anything here alr, i think the last post should have around 4 months ago. Now, everything seem to be settled for me, no more tests, no more assignments, no more presentation, but i'm getting wandering and hesitate about my future. Seems like everything are coming to the end right now. Those day when i always playing and fooling around with my friends, i think will b quite difficult to find back these kind of feeling in the future. Around 24 days later my life in UM will officially end and it's the time when i should start my whole new life, i duno which field i will b working in, duno will i be able to meet my friends back in the future, duno can i be able to adapt in the working life ( which i think i got no choice but to say yes!) . There are many uncertainty in the future, nobody will know they will be end up at where. The most important thing that we need to remember is to become yourself no matter what happen in the future, "i am who i am"!!!

Ingredients:
Oreo Biscuit Crust

1. 120g Oreo biscuit, removed filling and crushed
2. 70g unsated butter melted

Filling:

1. 250g cream cheese, softened
2. caster sugar
3. 2 pieces of oreo biscuit, removed filling and crushed
4. 150g dairy whipping cream
5. 1 ½ tbsp gelatine powder
6. 80ml full cream milk

1) Oreo Biscuit crust: combine all ingredients and press into a 18cm round springform pan. Chill in the fridge until firm. (Remarks: remember to poke some hole on the surface of the crust by using a fork be4 u put it into refrigerator, it can help to set the filling in place when u pour into it later. )